To raise a little special someone or someones is no doubt a challenge, but what I find absolutely fascinating is the extra energy that God seem to have reserved specially for mothers, which many women with no children just do not have.
A typical example is myself but I also see it in younger mates who haven’t had kids yet. When I had no children and I was a lot younger than I am today I thought an all night in the office on deadline was so exhausting that I had to spend the whole day the following day or most of it anyways catching up on lost sleep or doing nothing.
I look back on how much I can get done on any given day, even on that day after deadline and wonder why I didn’t get much more done back then if I can do what I can do today with two active,no, make that hectic boys to raise?
When a woman becomes a mother her whole life and priorities change and we are forced to adjust to the new demands of night feedings, more laundry, waking up to someone always needing us like on wednesday night when my son woke up around 3 am and decided to cry for his dad who lives over a 1000 kilometres away.
It broke my heart and made me think about how no child deserves to live without their dad or worse still not to know their dad, although in the end I wasn’t sure which was worse, not to know your dad altogether or to know him and have access to him only some of the time. They say you can’t miss what you don’t know but shall resist the temptation to digress!
This past weekend it was interesting as I had time to think about what a woman loses when she becomes a mother as compared to what she gains and whether she is better off without kids or not as I spent some time with one of my very few Best Friends Forever who doesn’t have any kids of her own as yet and my niece who is a total inspiration to me as she has already raised very polite and fine young men. Two boys like me, she’s got, although hers are bigger and about to leave home,while mine are barely out of their diapers.
Anyhow we had a good time laughing and sharing stories but I must admit that both my niece and I felt jealous about my friend’s beautiful lean body with no single stretch mark and a perfect waist like. She looked fresh faced and rested too while the two of us looked like well, mothers!. As if that was not enough to remind us of how much one has to give up to become a mother her house too was very beautiful and spic and span to the point where it made me a bit ashamed of my messy house with broken almost everything, from the stove to the seats.
But after discussions on what you gain by giving up on some of the luxuries and comforts of not having a child we both came to the conclusion that for those women who choose not to have children its okay because like I said you can’t miss what don’t have but once you have them you appreciate that nothing matches the feeling of waking up every day knowing the meaning of unconditional love.
When they are small like mine, you look at them and swell with pride when they learn a new word, when they make you laugh and even when you get back from work and you find them sleeping and you uncover them, watch them and wonder, Did I do that? In the end I came to the conclusion that children are tiresome little miracles which inspire us to do more, be more and desire to leave a lasting legacy and motherhood is definitely the most important job in the world! For comments, queries and questions write to [email protected]