Youth Affairs

I have been struggling to make sense of some things for the past 5 years.
And I must admit that I have since stopped trying to figure it out because there’s simply no logic nor a valid reason as to why the society has this mind set. I sometimes just go crazy when thinking about this, it just doesn’t make sense. Here is the thing, you know how some things are ok when men do them but when a woman does the same, it’s something else.
I recently got an email from a pretty young lady who is of course a reader of this column pouring her heart out to me. Now this is why I just love what I do, I get to talk with a lot of people, they confide in me and I do the same, some have yet made it into my friends list because we just have a strong bond. Anyhow, this lady was obviously in pain, yes you guessed it, it was all because of a guy. The guy had in the past cheated on her not only once, twice nor thrice, he had done it several times! Yan eh, metlholopelo ruri, and yet this girl was still with him.

During one of the many heart breaks that this girl went through, she made the biggest mistake of her life (according to her). She talked to some guy friend of hers and well, considering the fact that she needed comfort and all at the time, she ended up, kissing the guy.  So this girl decided to tell her boyfriend the truth because she “just couldn’t live with the guilt of lying to her man”. Mind you, all the four times that the guy cheated on the girl, he was always caught. Never at one point did he feel guilty, or at least be honest about it. So after this girl told the guy the truth, the guy went ballistic and thought the girl did an unforgivable thing.
So this guy broke up with the girl and the girl sent me an email asking me what to do to get the guy back. And well me being me I told her the truth, that she deserves better and that she shouldn’t settle for less.

Now this brings me to the fact that I’ve never understood why it’s ok for a guy to cheat and do all the wrong things but when a girl does the same, not intentionally, she is nothing but a bad person.
I have since realized that this is actually the in thing for guys.

A friend of mine is having problems with her boyfriend because she is not allowed to talk to the guy’s friends but the guy actually sends messages to the girl’s friends. In fact this girl has been accused of liking one of the boyfriends’ friends just because she greets the friend with a smile. Pathetic I tell ya! And what about the fact that when a guy has multiple girls he’s the man and he got game but when the girl does the same she’s well… names that I cannot mention.
Can someone enlighten me why this is the case, why is it acceptable for a guy to do such things? Help a girl understand please.  Do remember to tune into Yarona fm this Sunday at 4p.m and let’s get chatting about anything and everything.

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Yah! Thats one of the difference between a women and a man. Obona mosadi gaise ako a dirwe a tshwana le monna, physicaly and psychological.
Remember we are not the same as you guys think we are, that 50/50 yalona etalo tseetsa.
A women wasn’t born to be a leader for example, ke dilo tsa these days (these generation)
In short a man is more jealous than a women.

Chris M

Damn, I enjoyed reading this article! Well, I guess there is still a discovery to be made about the faulty neuro-psychiatric wiring in us, the male species! What is known so far is that testosterone has much to do with this silly male behaviour; giving us muscles, deep voice and aggressive tendency! We are just simply nuts, and the evidence for that is depicted all over nature! Have you seen how male lions kill all the cubs if fathered by another lion, (or fight to death over a girl just like boys do)? It’s crazy and totally unfair but there… Read more »


hmmm chris has got a point der!….^^^^^ ….but there is a point we have to understand is that women talk….they ask a shoulder to cry on or email a stranger in the press and mail them their sad stories ETC……MEN DON’T. THEY KEEP WHAT THEY FELT TO THEMSELVES….HURTING AND THEN LATER BRUSHING IT OFF…”SUMTIMES” CALL NAMES AND MOVE ON…… 1. THE PERFECT GENTLE MAN BRUSHES IT OFF STANDS UP AND MOVES ONN 2. THE OTHER BROODS OVER AND DOES A PASSION KILLING…( N Y U KNOW )the lion 😛 ( animal ) We should stop picturing Women as these cute… Read more »


@ ChrisM, you are spot on there my brother. I like the comparison to the animal kingdom, it is actually true. But since we got more intelligence than most animals, we are capable of deviating from the norm in the jungle. Like you say, if there is no proper upbrining the children are doomed. It is most evident in disfunctional families. When growing up, both the boy child and girl child need to be taught love, lest they have a misguided form of it. To Tshepo, the example that you cited is mostly caused by you ladies. If the guy… Read more »