I recently received a very emotional and sad email from a 22 year old young lady pleading for help and advice on a very unfortunate ordeal that she’s going through.
Now this email I must say was one of the most heartfelt and devastating mails I’ve ever received in my history of writing this column. I even cried when reading this email and was left shocked, confused and angry.
Now this 22 year old young lady wrote in her mail that her parents divorced when she was only 3 years old and the mother re-married when she was 5 years old.
Now the step dad sexually abused her for 2 years when she was in standard 1 and 2. During this sexual abuse the man actually had the guts to penetrate the then 5/6 year old. You can imagine the pain that this lady had to go through16 years ago, devastating I tell you. I wonder how this man goes by a second of his life knowing what he did to the young beautiful innocent soul.
Anyhow in the mail the young lady went on to reveal that she has actually kept this ordeal under wraps and has never told a soul about it till this day, her mother does not know that her husband forced himself into her five year old daughter.
However, the past has now caught up with the young lady and she’s struggling to forget about her past and live her life freely. She thought she could just sweep the issue under the carpet and never revisit what she considers to be the hell of her life. Now to add salt to injury, she has to live with this man in the same house because she is still a scholar, she cooks for the man and cleans after the man.
So basically this young lady was asking me if she should tell her mother about her monstrous husband and risk ruining their marriage, being called a liar, being resented by the mother, being accused of wanting to break up the happy marriage or she should just keep quiet and try to move on.
Well, you can imagine the pressure I was under, telling someone what to do in such a situation is not easy at all. I must admit, because of the anger and despise I built for the man, I honestly felt like screaming at the girl to not waste any second and tell on the monster! But guys, after sitting down and putting much thought into the issue, I advised her to seek professional help as to get prepared for the consequences of telling because really, a lot may just happen.
The mother might believe her or choose to stand by husband and dismiss the allegations and possibly disown her child. I mean society might go against the girl or support her, the consequences are just unknown and before facing the repocursions, she needs to be well prepared.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all suggesting that she keeps quiet, of course the best thing to do is to expose the man. No man or woman deserves to be set free after committing such terrible actions, they deserve to be punished harshly.
And again, the mail did point out that she wasn’t only doing this to free herself of the past but also to protect her little sister who might be going through the same thing. But really, just like I mentioned earlier, she needs to be prepared both psychologically and emotionally.
What do you think…? Should she tell, or shouldn’t she?