Rumours of a man’s private parts being found at Mmadinare Kgotla last Monday were a hot topical issue in the mining town of Selebi-Phikwe. Some people claimed to have seen the parts while others dismissed the story as nothing but a mere urban legend.
Voice reporter Phillimon Mmeso boarded a min bus from the town to Mmadinare to get first hand information only to discover that it was indeed a story that never was. However the story dominated the conversation in the bus and it went as follows:
BLUE HAT: Mmadinare! That village! I’m not surprised!
FLORAL SHIRT: I wonder who those private parts belonged to. How can someone do that?
BLUE HAT: A lot of people have disappeared in Mmadinare and I think they were ritually murdered. So those private parts obviously belonged to one of those people who disappeared.
FLORAL SHIRT: But if I may ask who actually saw the said private parts? Maybe they were not for a human being but a monkey or baboon!
BLUE HAT: Those were for a human being and my girlfriend who stays in Mmadinare told me she actually saw them with her own eyes.
RED BLOUSE: (Shouting) This guy is lying! There is nothing like that in my home village.
BLUE HAT: Hey you! I’m not your age mate and this not a lie, my girlfriend saw them and I suspect they belong to one of your relatives!
RED BLOUSE: Your girlfriend was pulling your leg my brother and please don’t even involve my family if you know what is good for you.
PINK DRESS: Did she tell you the size of the private parts?
(People burst into laughter)
RED BLOUSE: It means she was comparing them with ones she has seen before haaa!
BLUE HAT: Stop insulting me please! As for you lady you will see them when we get there.
RED BLOUSE: But you insulted my family, have you forgotten that you said the parts belonged to one of my relatives.
FLORAL SHIRT: Have they arrested anyone in connection with the parts?
BLUE HAT: Yes a prominent chief has been… (Interrupted by the conductor wearing a black cap)
BLACK CAP: Hey you, do you know that you can be arrested for spreading lies! Just shut up before you get yourself into trouble. A relative of the person you’re accusing might even be in this bus.
BLUE HAT: Ah but it is the truth!
RED BLOUSE: Are you a detective and what proof do you have?
BLUE HAT: You will see when we get there! My lady never lies to me.
BLACK CAP: They are going to beat you up if you say those things in Mmadinare! I’m just trying to help you.
(As we approach the kgotla we see people gathered)
BLUE HAT: (Excited) You see I told you!
RED BLOUSE: Hey just keep quiet we are going to beat you up if we don’t find anything.
Passengers quickly disembark from the bus only to realize that there are no private parts at the kgotla. They disperse, somehow disappointed and the man in the blue hat is nowhere to be seen.