May 2015 was a good month for me. I had just completed my Bachelor’s Degree and was awaiting my final results. This happiness came about also because I had just tested for HIV and the results were negative.
For six months prior to that I was worried sick about my health status because when I was doing my Form 4 I started developing symptoms similar to those of HIV&AIDS, but all along I was very afraid to go for a test.
Way back after reaching puberty, I started going out with girls. During that time I had a high libido/appetite for sex. Sometimes I had sex with them without using condoms; I didn’t carry any condoms and neither did I have any in my room.
Now my main worry is that after knowing my HIV status, I have lost that desire for sex; I rarely have sex. I feel bored and have also lost interest in girls. Sometimes I do pursue them but as soon as they agree to my proposal for a relationship, I dump them because I prefer to be single.
Please help me; am I sick, abnormal, or am I developing into a homosexual? My degree is useless without a chick alongside me!!
I read your letter in another publication recently. Why did you write to me with the exact same problem; are you not satisfied with their response or do you just feel like testing me?
What do you mean your degree is useless without a chick alongside you? Do you live for chicks and are they the reason you acquired your degree?
Considering all the dating and sex you’ve had since puberty, it’s not surprising at all that you think this way…but it’s time for you to get your priorities right because there’s so much more to life than having a “chick”. Maybe in your world a chick and a degree are status symbols that go together, but I can tell you now that while an education is a pre-requisite for securing yourself a brighter future, having a “chick” certainly isn’t; it’s just a cherry on top…excuse the pun!
The “symptoms similar to those of HIV&AIDS” that you started developing when you were doing Form 4…I really have no idea what those were since you did not elaborate on that. I just hope that the stress that followed due not knowing your HIV status and yet being afraid to get tested was enough to permanently scare you off your reckless behaviour.
You seem to have been using girls just to satisfy your sexual appetite, at great risk to their health as well as your own since you didn’t always use protection. Of course the girls must take responsibility for their own behaviour too, because they allowed you to do pretty much as you pleased, when they should have been saying no to unprotected sex.
I can only hope that you have now wised up such that when you regain your desire for sex and your interest in girls, you would be looking for someone you can be in a long-lasting relationship with, based not just on sex but on a loving, caring, respectful and trusting companionship.
As for your current loss of interest in girls, feeling bored, and loss of desire for sex, considering that you had too much sex too early on in your life, perhaps your body now wants time out…at least for a while. I suspect that this is just a phase that you’re going through…that it will pass. I advise that rather than obsess over girls and sex, you should use this time to take stock of your life and make changes where necessary. Remember that once you test negative for the HI virus, as you have, you need to do everything in your power to stay HIV negative.
Furthermore, if your loss of interest in girls and also your loss of desire for sex after knowing your HIV negative status is a really big worry for you, I suggest you contact the Men’s Clinic Botswana (390 9402) to help you investigate why this happened and to find a solution.