Before I had kids of my own I was 30 looking like a fresh faced 20- year- old  woman while friends my age who had children looked, I am sorry to say  tattered and torn.

I chalked it up all to bad genes because I didn’t know better. I didn’t get it back then.  But now that I have just come back from what was supposed to be a week- long relaxing holiday in the lap of luxury in the Chobe and Vic Falls area looking shattered and haggard, I blame my friends for not only failing to warn me about the health hazards associated with becoming a mother, but also for conveniently forgetting to tell me to steer clear of vacationing with children because in all honesty it is nothing but self inflicted torture.

There is no reason for me to be coy about it when every mother who would care to admit the truth would agree with me that going on holiday with kids is a terrible idea indeed. Simply put holidaying with kids sucks! There I have said it and all mothers out there who would prefer lies over truth can sue me!

I can’t possibly speak for the male parent though, especially that I find that with each passing day the temptation to succumb to the belief  that the earth we live in is largely a man’s world gets stronger. But  from a woman’s perspective holidaying with kids is without a doubt a mission to inflict pain on yourself unnecessarily.

Before children I made travel memories, great memories both locally and internationally and when we planned my last holiday I was excited about the prospects of a little rest and relaxation, coupled with loads of adventure in the bush if you know what I mean. Little did I know that I would have to settle for distant memories of a mesmerizing VicFalls tour  on the arm of a Mahogany  coloured hunk years back  to carry me through  as I did the long rainforest walk  with a  grumpy five- old- boy on my back instead of being lost in the beauty of this amazing world wonder.
By the time you get back to your hotel room you are exhausted but  the little buggers who have been riding on you the whole time are now full of energy and gearing to play hard. They want a splash in the pool and you have to watch them because they are too young to be on their own. As you think, right, I’ll lie down and rest as they swim, a fight breaks out and you have to intervene, so there’s no rest for you, especially if their dad has other things like ‘men stuff’ to  take care of  in town as men always do.

At the end of the day when we missed a couple of tourist  activities like game drives in Kasane because it would have been simply too much of an effort to get the kids up and ready so early in the morning, I expressed my sentiments about how  I just couldn’t figure out why people would get excited about taking children away on holiday. Their dad reasoned that because we both work extremely hard and spend long hours at work and away from them, it was okay for that time to be about them.

We however both agreed that we are not vacationing with children again anytime soon. We will wait until they are at least 13. In the meantime we have had it all sussed out. Every school holidays we shall make a plan to pack them off to horse riding camp and enjoy at least one weekend of peace and quite right at home because holidaying with kids is definitely not worth the effort as it defeats the whole purpose of taking time off to rest, I insist.  Whats your say?

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