A few weeks back I told you right here that I would not be watching the royal wedding.
That’s just more proof that you can’t always believe what you read in the newspaper… although I do think it would be wise to take that last observation seriously.
Anyway, our family outing to Wales on April 29th got off to a very slow start so I found myself in front of the tube during the run-up to the social event of the decade as I waited for my daughters to make themselves presentable and for about half an hour I bided my time watching rich white people in expensive clothes and funny hats arriving at the royal’s local church. As it turned out, however, my patience was lavishly rewarded by a close-up of Prince William struggling to force the wedding band over his wife’s knuckle.
Wasn’t that just classic? I mean, with all the money they spent on planning and staging that little do you’d think they could come up with a ring that fit. And William really didn’t use his head. Instead of shoving away until he got the job done wouldn’t it have been much more enjoyable for Kate – and the rest of us – if he had used his tongue to lubricate the opening?
I think he blew a chance to go down in history.
Right, so where is all this supposed to be heading? Well, my plan this week was to talk about fashion and believe it or not my initial headline was “No Free Lunch,” as in the old business school expression, “there is no such thing as a free lunch,” which means every time you decide to do something you pay a price because whatever you do prevents you from doing something else. But then I looked through fashion photos on the web and the wedding shots reminded me of those cheap puns that I wanted to share.
So it goes; but here’s a condensed version of what I wanted to say: making a fashion statement becomes an anchor as soon as it prevents us from doing things because we don’t wish to get our clothes dirty.
Of course not being stylish could also just be a sign that you’re cheap…
After three years of marriage a wife announced to her husband: “Darling, I need a new dress.” ”What’s wrong with the one you’ve got?” he asked. ”Well, it’s too long and, besides, the veil keeps getting in my eyes.”
Clever how that fit in with the royal wedding, don’t you think; but perhaps a fashion joke that features a bit of commerce would be even more… suitable… on the business page…
Harry wanted a new suit so he bought a nice piece of fabric and tried to find a good tailor. The first one he visited looked at the cloth, measured Harry and then told him there was not enough material to make a suit. Harry found this hard to accept so he went to the tailor next door who measured both Harry and the cloth before announcing that there was enough to make a three-piece suit. A week later, Harry returned to collect his suit and noticed that the tailor’s son was wearing trousers made of the same fabric. Puzzled, Harry asked: “How come you have been able to make a three-piece suit for me and trousers for your son when the chap next door could not even make a suit?” ”Simple,” said the tailor. “The guy next door has two sons.”