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Abused woman considers murder and suicide to escape torture at the hands of her husband
BY FRANCINAH BAAITSE
Domestic violence is one of the most grave threats to a woman's well being. However, in our country it continues to happen and a shocking number of women and children are forced to flee home due to the violence inflicted on them by their partners and husbands.
Real Lives received a touching letter recently, which sounded more like a suicide note from an unknown woman who claimed her husband was subjecting her to the most horrific form of domestic violence for the past four years.
  Tina (not her real name) is just a statistic among thousands of women who live under the constant abuse of their husbands or spouses. As the world approaches the 16 Days of Activism on Violence Against Women and Children, which starts next week Wednesday, Tina feels her story needs to be shared with the rest of the world so that they can get a glimpse into her private hell.
Her letter reads in part:
"I am married to an ex-policeman, who has retired as head of security services at 60 years. I am 50 years old. I wish those who are sympathetic enough could visit us and experience how we live. I am for about three years thinking of either committing suicide or an offence that can lead me in prison so that I can taste peace once more.
The man suspects I have an extra-marital relationship and has vowed that he will beat me until I tell him the ‘truth’ that is what he wants to hear, and of course he does beat me, rapes me, verbally abuses me, insults my parents and all the nonsense that I think if I were not married to him I would not incur.
I have four children with him, the first one is an adult married and employed and the last is a student at secondary school. These insults are just hurled at me in their presence. Occassionally he inserts his hand under my dress claiming that he checks whether I slept with this man or not. This is dehumanising indeed. When I am in the toilet he sits on the entrance until I have finished.
It is indeed painful when the world is celebrating the human rights day some of us are going through endless hell like this. I have compiled all the medical cards that show the treatment that I have gone through as a result of his beatings.
He once throttled me until I urinated. The same night he blew my eye with fists. He handled me by my neck under his armpit and hit me several times on the eye until I woke up at hospital. This man is a beast all the time after this barbaric behaviour he claims he does these because he loves me. I am very sorry he does not.
I am going through a serious physical and psychological torture. I am ever praying to God everyday that I could hear and find him dead one day. To be honest I hate him, I don't love him anymore, I don't feel him, I consider him number One enemy.
He has consistently threatened to kill me, kill this man and kill himself and that's my only dilemma because my child is still young. I like samp so much but I cannot eat it anymore because my right side jaws are partly broken from fists. I work as a computer operator, because of the eye problem I cannot use it even for ten minutes.
The last time he blew me was when he wanted to have sex with me in the kitchen in full view of the children. I begged him and he flattened me to the floor. I think he did it when I was unconscious because when I woke up there were sperms all over me and my little daughter helped me to the bathroom. I am tortured, I am abused, I have been reduced to a whore whilst he is a king.
My husband does not work. He depends on me on everything. We have three vehicles and I do not drive any of them. He drives me anywhere. I had two cellullarphones and he confiscated them. I once thought of filing for divorce and he told me that he was not interested and that would be the last day he finishes me up.
Life is no longer worth living. Maybe I need help but I am helpless and live in extreme fear. I hardly sleep, I am consistently thinking about the situation that I am faced with.
In conclusion I have decided to kill this wolf with my bare hands and rot in prison. I have given my family all the proof of beatings (injuries on the head, eye, jaws, torn vagina, panties full of sperm, torn ligaments and joints). In sleep I am going to slit his throat or push the bread knife into his heart. When some of you read this letter maybe I will be dead or he will be. I have had enough and enough is enough and enough.
I would like to wish all those who care, those who love me, those who will attend my funeral, and those who will read this letter the best of life and good luck. BYE, BYE.
I died because I am married, died because I am suspected, died because I am a woman and do not have the strength to act on time, died because of following the cultural marriage processes, dispute and conflict resolutions, died because I did not love this bastard and died because I finally had the courage from torture to kill myself."
After failing to trace the woman Real Lives contacted a woman’s shelter in Gaborone which gives temporary asylum to women and children under 16 who have run away from home due to abuse.
The shelter's director Kgomotso More, revealed that they were actually dealing with a similar case like this one. She said a woman ran to the shelter the same week we received the letter.
Explaining the gravity of women abuse, More pointed out that two to three different women arrive at the shelter every week for temporary asylum.
“These are women from Gaborone who know about the centre. There is no doubt that many other women out there are suffering in silence as indicated by the high number of rape incidents and murders of women by their partners and mind you these are only reported cases whereas most violent acts are swept under the carpet,” she said.
Information from the police also suggests that women do not only suffer violence from home but also from the male community at large. The police weekly reports constantly reveal a high number of rape cases across the country, not less than 30 cases a week. In the last ten months or since the beginning of the year, more than 1 200 rape incidents had been lodged with Botswana police.
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go utlwisa botlhoko tota. sum1 has 2 do sumthn. God will help her. um prayn for ur sista 
i wish we could hav strong women like her. God help and answers your prayers.
we love your poor womwn.