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No-jack-no-loveVoice reporter Chenjelani Baraedi overheard a conversation involving a man who seems to be having serious problems satisfying his partner sexually and this is how it went.

Fat man: Guys, truly speaking I have a serious problem with my jack.

I have long tried keeping the whole issue a secret but it seems it is beginning to haunt me.

Muscle top guy: What are you talking about, you don’t even have a car or a cart for that matter and you are worried about a jack.

For God’s sake why do you even own a jack?

Fat man: I am speaking in parables man but since you seem to be lost, what I am simply trying to say is that my boy is no longer reliable.

He is no longer active like in the past. I am afraid my woman is also becoming impatient with the sudden turn of things.

Short man: Come on; you don’t talk to boys like that; they won’t get what you are saying.I know exactly what you are talking about.

The issue is common nowadays and it once happened to me until I got some help from a traditional doctor.

Short man: (Laughing and turning to the other guys) ‘Guys What your brother wants to say is that he can’t get an erection or am I wrong my friend?

Fat man: At least you can understand me. Where can I see this traditional doctor of yours?

To tell the truth I can’t stand it any more.

I just need a quick fix for the sake of my family.

Thin guy: I also get what you are saying but I don’t think a traditional doctor is the solution.

Maybe you must check your diet and also stop drinking too much.

It is common knowledge that beer and smoking can seriously affect a person’s sexual life.

Fat man: Stop it. Just because you can’t afford beer doesn’t mean you can spoil it for us who can.

All what I want is to see this man who helped my friend.

Short man: To tell the truth since the man gave me his herbs we never met again.

We had a random meeting in a beer hall in Zim and he gave me the concoction that worked wonders for me.

He never charged me a single coin.

Fat man: You are a lucky man. Maybe he was thanking you for the beer that you bought for him.

Tell me, do you mean there is no way to trace him?

Thin guy: Maybe you must just see a professional doctor before things go from bad to worse.

Fat man: Medical doctors are just crooks. They simply know nothing.

I strongly suspect that my former girlfriend is behind the whole problem.

I understand women can be very vindictive and they can castrate a man using muti…

Muscle-top guy: Hahahaaa…. That one is a lie. Maybe you have been using sex boosters.

I am told they could be very lethal.As for me, I can go on the whole night if a woman doesn’t stop me.

Fat man: I have long stopped using sex pills because they are expensive and they are also addictive.

Maybe they are the ones that destroyed my sexual life, truly speaking I am suffering.

Thin guy: My advice to you would be for you to see a doctor or observe your diet and stop wasting your time blaming your former girl friend.

Sex boosters are just short lived and they are only meant for bulls used for breeding, not human beings…

Short man: What I suspect is the food we eat and the issue of cruel women could also be true.

Old people used to know the solution but truly speaking, genuine herbalists are hard to find these days.

As for me I was just fortunate to meet the Zimbabwean friend of mine.

Muscle-top guy: Mockingly; Act quick my brother or else your woman will soon pack her begs and leave.

Don’t forget that the only way to keep a woman is to bed her nicely.

Yes, I know a man must give his lover money and provide for her but if you fail her in bed be very careful my friend!

Short man: I agree with you my man, I must do something fast otherwise I should start counting the days left with this woman as my girlfriend.



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