Court argues cheating husband was as much to blame
In a decision that sets a legal precedent the customary court of appeal has overturned a charge of marriage wrecking arguing that the cheating husband must share the blame.
The story that hit the headlines a few weeks ago featured aggrieved wife Naledi Mogae who claimed that she had video evidence of her husband and mistress making love.
26-year-old Kemiso Dijokota was found guilty but appealed the Donga Customary Court decision that she should pay P60 000 in compensation for wrecking Mogae’s nine-year marriage with husband Kenneth.
In her appeal Dijokota argued that despite the assertion that Naledi, suspecting her husband was having an affair, had recorded sex scenes on video from cameras hidden in the bedroom, the video was never shown in open court.
Kgosi Taolo said that he could not convict or uphold the decision of the lower court because the alleged video was not handed over to him.
In court Dijokota described the P60 000 fine imposed on her as ‘ridiculous’ and further explained that she could not afford to compensate Naledi because she only earned P900 a month.
In his judgment Kgosi Taolo said marriage-wrecking cases opened up questions about who was actually breaking the marriage.
“The husband is the one who leaves his wife and solicits a sexual relationship with another woman.”
He went on to say that in most cases men were the ones cheating on their wives by making sexual advances on other women, and as such wrecked their own marriages.
“You have to ask the question is it true that the mistress is the one who is wrecking another woman’s home?” he asked.
He argued that it was unfair for the mistress to be singled out as the one solely responsible for marriage wrecking.
“It is a very bad attitude for married women to earn handsome compensation out of their husbands’ cheating antics,” Kgosi Taolo maintained.
He concluded that the evidence before court did not prove that Dijokota wrecked Naledi’s marriage because the married man had concealed the fact that he already had a lawfully wedded wife.
Where you have your say
LOVE ON THE ROCKS
Who is Wrecking Whose Marriage?
Posting the story on our Facebook page prior to publication we posed the question: Who is wrecking the marriage- the mistress or the husband?
A poll taken from over 1000 responses received showed that 65% believed the husband was wrecking the marriage compared to 25% who blamed the mistress.
The remaining 10% thought both parties were equally to blame.
Below are some of your comments:
Tutsie Namiem Motlhankana: The husband is wrecking the marriage.
Men are the trouble-makers because they often propose to other women and in most cases they lie to the ladies to the extent of removing their marital rings.
Onaletlhatla Magwe Kontlopa: The bastards called husbands! This is why some women are solving them by frying them with hot cooking oil.
They remove their rings and approach you, and because you are lonely you accept.
Eduardo Paulo: Some men need to start taking responsibility for their actions.
It is not like that man was forced. If he cannot keep his snake in the cage then he should equally face the wrath of the law. The husband wrecked his own marriage.
Shanky Lebo Gaerupe: Was the mistress aware that the man was married?
If yes, both are to blame but if not then blame goes to the cheating husband.
It is high time the law takes serious measures against men so that we end these things.
Mash Natasha Rad: There are some ladies who proudly declare that they are looking for married men because such men won’t commit.
If it is such ladies, then they must pay for wrecking the marriage because they are doing it intentionally.
But if the lady didn’t know the man was married then the man must even pay the lady for his deceitfulness.
Bernard Masene: Both are to blame because the married man goes out to find another lover and this lover in return agrees to be in a relationship with a married person.
Loy Loy: Why should it be the mistress’ fault alone?
The laws need to be revisited and amended.
Both the mistress and husband should feel the heat!