SIX MEN, ONE DAUGHTER, NO RING AND NO LUCK
I am a lady of 29 with one child and now into my sixth relationship.
Apart from my beautiful daughter the men who have entered my life have left me with little else except broken promises and heartaches.
Is it just my bad luck or am I doing something wrong?
It is probably not much compensation, but you are not alone.
With so many young people nursing broken hearts after being dumped by players who just wanted a ‘little something on the side’ to amuse themselves before moving on to the next conquest, perhaps it’s worth looking at the whole issue of Dating v Courtship.
So with a little help from our friends at madamenoire.com here are a few general notes that might help you tell the difference
Advancements in our modern day society have provided women with a newfound sense of financial freedom.
Compared to fifty years ago, more women can buy their own home, pay their own bills, purchase luxury items and afford nice holidays.
The only problem is they can’t buy love. If you’re a successful woman who is struggling to find success in your love life, it’s not your fault.
Over the decades, love has become a bit more complicated.
Back in the day, relationships were easier because they were well defined.
There was courtship instead of dating. Men wooed women. Now, men and women hang out and hook up.
For many the relationship is little more than a trade exchange you give me sex and I’ll give you anything from a new dress to a house of your own depending on the terms and conditions you are able to negotiate in return for the body you have to offer.
CASUAL HOOKUPS RAISE INSECURITIES
In dating physical intimacy tends to happen before commitment.
When you have sex before getting to know one another (and one another’s intentions), it’s the exception that your encounters will turn into a healthy love relationship.
You’ll tend to behave and act in ways that you think will please him, rather than show your real self. Instead of saying what you completely mean, you’ll only partially say what you mean.
When sex happens before commitment, you’ll tend to read more into the relationship than what’s actually there.
You’ll think there’s more of a connection then there really is.
You’ll think that he’s more into you than he really is.
Then you’ll become disappointed, sad, angry or just plain dumped when things don’t work out.
COURTSHIP BOOSTS YOUR SELF-WORTH
In courtship, you and your partner take the time to get to know and care for each other and develop trust.
You’re both more vested in your ‘steady’ relationship because of the time and effort you’ve put into each other.
You’re physically intimate when it’s right for both of you and when you do, it is magical.
Courtship takes more courage because you have to be authentic, open, vulnerable and live with not knowing the outcome.
If you choose the path of courtship, you’ll become clearer on what matters most to you, what’s acceptable and not acceptable to you and realize your self-worth.
You’ll feel cherished, cared for and respected. Either that or you have to make it clear no sex without marriage, neither of which are a guarantee of lasting happiness.
THE CHOICE IS YOURS
A young lady who casually dates through most of her single years may not realize that she actually wants to be courted, until she meets the man who marries her.
In hindsight, she might realize that dating for her was about reacting to the men she met, leading her to feel uncertain and settle for less.
Courtship, on the other hand, is more about responding based on what’s important to you.
You get to choose whether or not you want to date or be courted.
If you’re consistently let down and feel unfulfilled in your experiences with potential partners, try letting a man woo you instead of date you.
If he’s a good man this means being receptive to who he is and what he has to offer, rather than being resistant or controlling.
It means treating him with respect and trust, and accepting him for who he is, not what you can get out of him.
If you’re a woman who is used to taking charge, don’t initiate or pursue men.
If you do, there’s a high chance that you’ll end up in a “friends with benefits” relationship where he’ll sleep with you, but won’t ask you out or will only contact you when he has no other choices available at the time.
You’ll end up settling for less than you deserve.
While it’s possible, it’s not probable. It’s your choice: Do you choose dating or courting?