On a blissful month -end Saturday afternoon, Motimalenyora Bar in Mochudi is filled to capacity with customers spending their hard earned cash on a drink or two.
The Voice cartoonist, LESOLE NTSHOLE had a chance to listen to a conversation about boyfriend-girlfriend relationships between three drinking pals, two men and a woman who had come to quench their thirst.
Blue and black jacket: Yesterday you were so drunk that you even forgot your name. When did you leave?
Red T-shirt: I left when the bar closed.
Woman in jeans: Look at his eyes! They are blood shot like a Boer working in a pepper plantation. (Everyone laughs).
Blue and black jacket: Did you go sleep?
Red T-shirt: I went to the club. I have not slept and I have a headache.
Blue and black jacket: I have a headache too, but the best medicine to cure a hangover is more beer.
Red T-shirt: That is why I came to the bar early.When they opened, I was waiting. I was the first person to arrive.
Blue and black jacket: The government’s attempt to impose alcohol levy does not work and will never work.
Red T-shirt: I drink beer. Even God knows. I will die holding a beer and be buried with beer in my casket. Don’t be afraid to tell people at my funeral that I loved my drink.
Blue and black jacket: It’s good to enjoy life when one is still alive because after you die, there might be a possibility that there won’t be alcohol when you get to heaven.
(They laugh).Yesterday I saw you beat your girlfriend what was the matter?
Red T-shirt: Well she was trying to mess me up.
Blue and black jacket: Beating up a woman is not a good thing.
Red T-shirt: I just irritated myself and started to beat her for no reason.
Sometime you have to beat up a woman for no reason so she knows that even if you have taken her out on a drinking spree she must maintain her respect for you.
Blue and black jacket: Do you know that the police can arrest you for assault?
Red T-shirt: I don’t care. My girlfriend knows what I want and don’t want. If you never beat your girlfriend, she takes advantage of you.
Some guys will take her in front of your eyes to go and sleep with her.
Blue and black jacket: I never beat my girlfriend. It is something difficult for me to do.
Red T-shirt: Well, you should try it and then tell me. A friend of mine , a girl told me that her boyfriend would never beat her, and that ever since he began beating her, she started loving him more and more every day.
Blue and black jacket: That is a belief. How can a woman be with a man who beats her without reason?
Red T-shirt: But it works. The chic told me that her boyfriend was so boring.
I guess if her boyfriend hadn’t beaten her up, she would have left him for another guy. If you snooze and pretend you are a Christian, the guys will snatch your girlfriend from you.
My girlfriend knows I beat her very hard, but she continues to love me no matter how many times I beat her.
Blue and black jacket: A real gentleman will never beat up a lady he loves.
Woman in jeans: You are right. This boy is stupid.
Red T-shirt: Tell me, what will you eat from being a gentleman? Last time I beat my girlfriend and when I was done, I took away her cell phone. She reported to the police.
Woman in jeans: Did you say the police?
Red T-shirt: Yes, I’ m saying the police. When they came, I was in the house sleeping. She went in the house to wake me up.
I got up to attend them. They asked me how I knew the girl. I told them that she was my girlfriend. They asked me if I had taken her cell phone.
I admitted that I took it. When they asked why I took her cell phone.
My answer to them was that, we had some misunderstanding, and I took it from her to keep it.
They told me to give it back to her. I lied that I didn’t remember where I kept it as I was very drunk, but will find it.
Woman in jeans: Were you not afraid they were going to arrest you?
Blue and black jacket: Why did I have to be afraid? Lady, I must tell you that no one messes with me. I trust myself.
Woman in jeans: You are lying. You were frightened! Go and buy us a round and stop lying to us.
The conversation changes when a young man in a khaki shirt arrives and talks about the Centre Chiefs and BMC game to be played the next day.