I’M CALLING OFF THE WEDDING

DEAR GASE

I’m calling off my wedding because I found out that my fiancé is not the man I thought he was. I thank God that he has been delaying the whole process, starting with lobola.

First he lied about his children, saying he had only two whereas he had eight; one was buried shortly before his uncles came to my parents’ house to ask for my hand in marriage.

Then there was a lady he was living with in his house who miscarried when she heard that he was marrying someone else.

All this time that we have been preparing for the wedding neither he nor his groomsmen ever attended a single meeting or practice yet the wedding was scheduled for the end of next month.

We were in a long distance relationship until I resigned my job and moved home to be close to him since we had never lived together.

Previously I didn’t mind the two kids but now, six more plus one on the way is just too much for me to deal with – besides, we live in a scary world of HIV/AIDS.

I lost interest the day I found out the truth about him, because I know a leopard can never change its spots.

Anyhow, I’m not desperate and am still young; the right man will come along when the time is right.

God truly saved me; the shock of only discovering his double life after marrying him would have devastated me.

God made sure that the truth got out before I committed myself to this man. The Lord will stand by me in this dilemma and I believe I will be healed very soon.

GASE SAYS:

ANSWER
This is a serious issue; that man has lied to you at every turn, big time.

I can understand why you want to call off the wedding…and no one can blame you for feeling the way you’re feeling.

He has been living dangerously, leading a double life…and all this while you thought you had found the man of your dreams!

You’re very fortunate to have found out who and what he really is, before you tied the knot.

Your fiancé has so many children he could easily form his own soccer team!

Worse still, he continued to cheat on you even as he was preparing to marry you; I think it might be a good idea for you to get yourself tested for STI’s including HIV.

You’re indeed fortunate to have found out the truth before you got married to this man.

It’s easy to marry but for a variety of reasons, it can get quite complicated and somewhat difficult to ‘un-marry’, as many have found out! Divorce can be quite costly too; so, really it’s a good thing that you’re in a position to call it quits and move on before you commit yourself to a life of misery.

HIS PENIS IS TOO SMALL

DEAR GASE,

I’m asking for help concerning my boyfriend’s penis.

I really love him and I don’t want to lose him but the problem is that his penis is too small.

I wonder if there is anything I can do to increase its size.

There are traditional “doctors” who claim to have the ability to enlarge penises, but so far all we’ve heard are stories of men being cheated out of their hard-earned money by these unscrupulous “doctors”.

The last such case we read was in the Voice, where a teacher was conned out of thousands of Pulas.

I know you might say that size doesn’t matter, but the truth is I am not satisfied in bed, and I’m afraid if I tell him he will feel
disrespected.

I really love him and I don’t want to hurt him; is there anything I can do without hurting his feelings?

Gase says,

ANSWER
I’m just curious, why is it that you and not your boyfriend are looking for ways to increase the size of his manhood?

I don’t know if there’s anything you alone can do about it; however, you can discuss the issue with him and both of you can research on the internet for information on how best to satisfy each other in the case of a small penis.

There’s a saying that it’s not the size of the penis that matters but how you use it, meaning that a skilful lover should still be able to satisfy his partner despite his ‘small’ penis.

If you truly love him then his penis size should not cause you too much stress.

Although the Men’s Clinic focuses on weak erections, low libido and early ejaculations, it might be worthwhile for your boyfriend to check if the clinic is in a position to help him find ways to better satisfy you sexually.

However, if you feel strongly that telling him you’re not satisfied in bed will not go down well with him then I guess you must find another way to tackle the issue.

Guide him as to how best he can satisfy you, without letting on that it’s because of his small penis.

The fact that you love him is a plus because it makes tackling the problem much easier.

Remember you’re not a passive bystander in all of this; you also have a responsibility to ensure that you too satisfy him in bed.

Don’t just focus on his small penis; ensure that you address your own shortcomings too, whatever they may be.

After you’ve done your research regarding ways in which he can satisfy you sexually, ask him if he has any suggestions about how you can better satisfy him…with luck, the conversation will turn to how he can better satisfy you in bed, then you can use the information you’ll have gathered to help improve things.

I’M HURT THE WAY OUR AFFAIR ENDED

DEAR GASE,

I’ve got a problem.
My ex-girlfriend was my first date; our affair lasted just two months but the way it ended hurt me very badly.

I have tried to accept the situation but it is hard.

How do I get over the hurt?

GASE SAYS,

ANSWER
You do not say how the relationship ended after two months of dating, but all the same you need to understand that no matter how much you love your ex, if she doesn’t love you back then you must let her go.

Remember, “If you love something, set it free; if it comes back to you, it’s yours…if it doesn’t, it never was”.

It’s pointless to be hurting and pining for her. It can only give you more grief and prevent you from meeting the girl of your dreams.

The more time you spend thinking how hurt you are and how difficult it is to accept the situation, the deeper you’re going to sink into a life of misery…which will soon turn into bitterness, especially when you realize that she has moved on and is not losing any sleep over you.

Yes it hurts, but with time you will heal. A big part of that healing depends on your willingness to live your life to the fullest.

It’s important that you continue to enjoy your hobbies, the company of friends and family, the places you like going to, etc.

Do all of these things and more, and you will realize with time that it has become easier “to accept the situation” and move on.

There is no quick fix that will make your pain go away overnight, but whatever you do, never put your life on hold because of an ex that you may never get back. Such is life…losing someone you love didn’t start with you and it will not end with you.

However, you can choose to let it break you, or you can learn from it, pick up the pieces and get on with your life. The choice is yours.