Whilst in a kombi in Mahalapye, Dubani-wa-Dubani recently eavesdropped on this conversation about solving infidelity problems.
Man in red shirt: Have you heard my friend?
Man in a white shirt: Heard what? I hope you are not going to tell me one of your usual nonsensical stories
Red Shirt: I know you always call my stories nonsense but I think this time you won’t.
White Shirt: Tell your story and stop messing around. We are not going to be in this kombi the whole day you know.
Red shirt: I think I found the perfect way to deal with men who sleep with other men’s wives.
Old Man: (overhears and comments) My son if you have found that solution then you are a genius.
Red Shirt: I wish my friend here could see that.
White Shirt: You of all people find a solution to cheating? I do not believe it. What can you think of that the churches, the law makers the courts and elders have not thought of?
Red Shirt: I know you think I am a dull fellow but this time I have struck the bull on the horn.
White Shirt: What’s your solution?
Red Shirt: Sodomize whoever you catch with your wife
Old Man: (seemingly shocked) What?
White Shirt: That’s madness and I am not mad.
Red Shirt: Which man would sleep with a woman if he knows her husband would sodomize him if he was caught. None I tell you.
Old Man: My son what brought this devilish thought to your mind? Have you ever been to prison or what?
White shirt: He drinks and smokes too much
Red Shirt: I think the idea of making people pay money or cattle for sleeping with other people’s wives is doing no good. Those that have the means continue doing it knowing the worst that can happen to them is appearing in The Voice and paying whatever is charged. I also would not like to air such affairs in public. It’s a private matter and must be dealt with man to man. And there is no better way than having sex with one who is having sex with your wife.
Old Man: Why not find a woman instead of going dirty and immoral. Sodomy is an abomination my son.
Red Shirt: Old man not in these days of gays and lesbians. And I am not interested in cheating on her.
White shirt: What will your wife think about you sodomizing her lover?
Red shirt: It will teach her not to mess around. I can imagine those men who propose to her running away when you tell them I’ll do their behind if I catch them in bed with her. No straight thinking man will touch her.
White Shirt: Sodomy is against the law and God.
Red shirt: So is adultery.
Old Man: My son such thoughts are poison to the mind. Try not to entertain them. they might drive you to madness
Red Shirt: They won’t sir.
Old man: then at least show some respect for us and do not discuss such a disgusting topic in this kombi. Some people here might feel offended.
Red Shirt: I am sorry old man if I offended anybody but the issue of infidelity is a national concern and should be discussed at any time for solutions to be found.
Old Man: But your solution my son…
White Shirt: This guy is mad sir – just ignore him
(The conversation ends in stunned silence minutes before reaching the bus rank)