Home » Ask Gase » ARE YOU IN A ONE SIDED RELATIONSHIP?

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Have you ever felt like you were the only one putting all the time, effort, money and emotional investment into trying to make a relationship work?  If you are head over heels in love with a person and are giving the relationship 100% and your partner is giving it 0%, you shouldn’t need me to tell you that you are in a one sided relationship. But love is often blind, so if you are not sure I invite you to take this simple test to open your eyes to the fact that the relationships will not last.
Of course you may have gone into the relationship thinking it may work. Some people will lead you on to that point until they get what they want and then dump you. Some people are just so consumed with self-interest that they have no space in their existence for another.
When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone, so the main thing to do is to realize quickly that your love is not being reciprocated and move on before you get hurt.

QUIZ: Test the strength of your relationship now!
The SCORING results for the 18 questions are given at the end. Select one of the answers to each item as it currently applies to you.

1.

A.We both do the communicating equally
B.There are times when s/he does most of the communicating
C.I do all the communicating. (Calling, emailing, texting, etc)

2.

A.We’re always together on special occasions unless one of us is out of town
B.We enjoy only some of the special occasions together, even when we’re both in town
C.I never get to be with my partner on special occasions (Valentine’s Day, Birthdays, and so on)

3
.
A.We spend a lot of time together
B.We spend some time together, but maybe not enough
C.I’m almost always alone

4.

A.We both show great interest in finding out more about one another and getting to know each other
B.Our efforts at really getting to know each other are average
C.I am always the one making an effort to know more about my partner while they show no interest into really getting to know me

5.
A.We always invite each other to hang out with our friends and family
B.We do not invite each other to hang out with friends and family often enough
IC. never get invited to hang out with my partner’s friends and family, although he spends a lot of his time with them

6.
A.Whenever we can’t spend time together we’re truthful about the reasons
B.Only sometimes do we communicate to one another the reasons for not spending time together
C.My partner is always feeding me excuses why s/he can’t be with me or why I wasn’t able to reach him/her when I tried to contact him/her

7.

A.We spend all available time together, be it day or night
B.We don’t spend enough quality time together
C.My partner only spends the night with me or comes over but doesn’t want to go anywhere with me or spend time with me outside the home

8.
A.My partner loves to compliment me.
B.My partner occasionally compliments me
C.My partner hardly ever compliments me

9.
A.I always feel valued and cherished by my partner
B.I occasionally feel valued by my partner
C.I hardly ever feel valued by my partner

10. My partner is keen to enhance my feeling of significance, to make me feel special.
A.Usually
B.Occasionally
C.Hardly ever

11. My partner pulls a disappearing act on me, travelling on unexplained trips or is unavailable to the point where I’m starting to wonder
A.Never
B.Rarely
C.Always

12. My partner has jumpy cellphone habits; s/he gets protective and/or nervous when s/he gets calls or texts
A.Never
B.Sometimes
C.Always

13. My partner seems to be emotionally disconnected; I feel like s/he’s drawing away from me
A.Never
B.Rarely
C.Always

14. S/he breaches my trust; I have caught him/her in a lie
A.Never
B.Rarely
C.Constantly

15. S/he loves me
A.I know so
B.I think so
C.I’m beginning to doubt it

Thank you for completing this quiz.

SCORE KEY: (To get the most accurate result, the partner/date should also take the quiz and BOTH scores matched together.)

Mostly A’s – You are certainly in a great relationship – at least from your perception. If he/she also agrees with you, what a match you both make!!
Mostly B’s – This relationship has some potential but it would need BOTH of you to get it going. There’s not enough effort being made to sustain it.
Mostly C’s – This is not a relationship and won’t get off the ground as you are the only one who seems to be really attracted to the other person. They would need to show you much more, and to take your needs into account before anything can happen. There is hardly any mutual chemistry here. This is one person fancying another without much in return. You can certainly do better for yourself!


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